BODY WEIGHT: 60 kg
My first psychedelic experiences
This is the first part of the project I started a few days ago. I don't know how it will end or anything about it, and I don't know my goal with it.
Part 1. Introduction and further explorations
1.1) My first experience with psychedelics was when I was offered half a dose of LSD-25 (exact dose unknown but probably around 60-100�g) at a festival close to my hometown. This night as it followed contained large doses of cannabis through a pipe and hours of wonders and subtle but beautiful hallucinations. I laid in a bed close to a small window as the smoke rose from the glowing pipe, up between the wooden pedals where small stripes of sunlight shone through, allowing the patterns in the smoke to evolve into amazing fractals. The clock was somewhere between 05:00 and 07:00 and I had been tripping quite intensely with some help from the leaf when I decided to go down and look at the sunrise over the barn close to the house where I was sleeping during my stay. I stumbled my way down the stairs and got out in the bathing sun. I�ve never experienced such brightness: the sun was just above the roof and the massive field of clouds around it jumped and danced across the sky. By this point, I�d seen smaller visuals, but the size and greatness of this sight blew my mind. I just couldn�t understand how seeing this was possible in any kind of way or state, drug induced or not.
Until this point I only had a brief idea of what a hallucination actually was, and what hallucinating actually meant. Until this very moment the concept of visuals felt like something happening in your head, like a high or a drunk, that tripping was something happening only in the influenced mind. When I saw the clouds, the sky and the star shooting trees, it all felt so obviously real though not real in a normal kind of way, but real like atoms and dimensions: there, but not present. Just like any other part of the code which we define as reality the hallucinations was simply there, as they�ve always been, but now I could see glimpses of these underlying, mysterious wonders. It was this first experience that made it clear that I wanted to deep into the whimsical world of psychedelic substances.
The second time I did LSD was a week after the first trip. A friend of mine living in the same collective as me had a bottle of the substance which he passed around between a quite large number of people and when it finally arrived to me our best option was to shake the bottle over my hand while I continuously licked up the acid from the skin. It was full moon and if I remember it correctly over 10 persons tripped that evening, therefore the setting was amazing. We were running around in a hippie-collective, saw crazy paintings and exploding patterns, cooking chaga chai which is a kind of tea, and watched 3d-fractals in the barn using a projector, accompanied by the usual psytrance. This was my first trip of what I�d call the stronger kind. During the night I experienced a number of semi-spiritual events, since this �full moon party� contained such a large amount of people it felt very ritualistic, almost tribal. Maybe there will be a chapter about these kinds of experiences, just as there may be a chapter about the visual hallucinations and their meaning, but I can�t tell this early in the process of whatever this sudden flow of inspiration and energy to write will end up in. To conclude this evening, it can be described as a opening of the gate of the psychedelic landscapes I so long had been wanting to explore.
1.2) The next psychedelic drug I tried was 4-ACO-DMT, this occurred in almost two weeks after the �full moon party� . Me and a friend ordered 500mg which we were going to share, we actually only received 250mg but through email I�ve managed to make contact with the seller and he will be sending more. When we first got the zip bag we opened it and measured up 15mg each by splitting the pile of powder an amount of times. I felt the first effects quickly, my body felt weird, a bit nauseous but mostly a little heavy. After a phase that mostly involved a discussion about how your own body was feeling on 4-ACO-DMT I got calmer and more confident. I saw some visual changes, mostly breathing walls and shapes, but also some fractals and pattern in a few sofas. I had some fun talking with my trip-partner and we listened to music most of the time.
As this was our first time with the drug we had been dosing pretty carefully, and I�m not sure if I really would define this evening as an actual trip. But this was still only the test dose, and the night after we�d try to measure up a much larger one. After maybe 4 hours I came down from a dreamlike, mellow state that was rather closer to being stoned than what I expected after two LSD-trips. During this comedown I think I mentioned the fact that I probably could do twice as much, but I didn�t, I quadrupled it.
Second 4-ACO-DMT-trip, this night much more intense. I watched the sun slowly sinking lower and lower over the horizon as I said to my friend (who from now on will be called X) that the time felt right to take another dose, and so we went up to our sleeping place with a plate, two cups and some water. Realising that some liquid had found its way into the powder made me a bit worried, since the it made it darker and more compact. We dosed up what I thought was 25-30mg, but this later turned up to be closer to 60mg, I drank it with a cup of apple juice between 21:00 and 22:00. After less than 10 minutes I was feeling a strong body buzz and a overwhelming heaviness grew on me. Already 30 minutes into the trip I while sitting at a campfire watching the flames stretch and swirl could feel that this were very different compared to LSD. The effects were more focused on the body and my surroundings seemed to breath in a very heavy way. Sounds became uncomfortably distinguishable from each other and I was quite nauseous, but it was so far pretty manageable. It was thursday and the day after, a reggae festival would start, so people started turning up as I began tripping harder. The buzzing feeling was only getting stronger and I felt extremely weighed down. Even laying down was hard in this state, but since I got more comfortable to just existing in this way I started enjoying the trip more and more.
One particular event that affected me was the 15 minutes spent in total darkness, watching the light from the grayish, blue night sky while listening to Carbon Based Lifeforms. The heaven produced just enough light to trigger wondrous hallucinations between the wood panels, I saw soundwaves, geometric shapes and patterns, web-like structures and what seemed to be some kind of interdimensional grids, coordinating all existence. I really want to write about these theories too, because one following pattern in my trips has always been the presence of something that feels like a part of reality I normally can�t perceive. These grids and networks can mainly be seen in the sky, but also in smaller things. But back to the subject: while watching the wonders of light and sound combined my other friend (not Y, this person bought some of the substance from us shortly after we took it) reminded me of the opening line of William Gibson�s Neuromancer. �The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel�, and it was the most perfect description of what I saw.
The visual part of 4-ACO-DMT was for me kind of similar to the one on LSD, but there�s a few differences. On 4-ACO-DMT I saw more patterns in real life things as grass and walls: even when I didn�t look directly on them I could see moving stuff in the corner of my eyes. LSD was slightly different for me, while the patterns were less overwhelming at first sight, they evolved into amazing things. Another difference with the, what I heard, more mushroom-like drug, is the way you see landscapes actually. Although, this is just a theory and something I�m very excited to compare when my 4-ACO-DMT arrives.
1.3) After the last trip I had become very excited to try more psychedelics, and preferably in higher doses. Although I�m still new to these kinds of drugs, I feel that there is only room for growth in knowledge and experience. My next trip was actually on an research chemical, I usually feel that RC�s isn�t a good idea, but after talking to a handful of people who tried it the night before and having my blotter paid for, why I don�t know but my friend (let�s call him Y) who�s 30 bought two and gave one to me, I decided to expand my list a bit further. The chemical was 25c-NBOH, a pretty new and untested one, I read some reports from 2013 and felt kind of safe actually. We took the blotter, made tea and decided to watch my personal favorite movie: �eXistenZ� by David Cronenberg. The clock was now 03:00 in the morning.
The effects came up slower than 4-ACO-DMT but faster than LSD, and in the beginning mostly consisted of a uncomfortable, eerie feeling moving through my body. After this quite obnoxious phase I felt a head high, not much different from the one I get on LSD, which felt quite pleasant. After this quite obnoxious phase I felt a head high, not much different from the one I get on LSD, which felt quite pleasant.