I've set up a camera to record myself during my last few K sessions. In several hours-long videos of me on racemic K, I look as you would expect: dead-eyed and in a wordless trance.
However, I got some S-ket yesterday, and have been doing larger doses. Yesterday, I broke my glasses and I don't have any recollection of doing so, so I decided to film today's session to see what the ketamine was making me do. I watched the footage back and JESUS CHRIST.
So, the footage. I don't speak at all and my face resembles that of a zombie. I continually alternate between lying down and sitting up. Then I begin making the world's loudest vomiting noises as I dry heave with all of my body's energy. It sounds like I'm trying to give birth to a demon via my throat. If I were my neighbours hearing these noises, I would call an ambulance. I have no idea why I did this - I don't remember this part at all - so I can only assume I was feeling nauseous. It crossed my mind that I may have been choking on my tongue, but I was sitting up so it would have been hard to do that.
It is really disturbing for me to watch my body do things over which I have no control, and to seemingly be in such great distress. I don't think I ever want to take ketamine again.
No, I won't post the video.